My hopeful meeting with the Bishop was just a consolation meeting. I got the Turtle Wax, I did not get what I wanted, learning that even though the Commission on Ministry had decided they did not hear a calling for me to the diaconate, that the Bishop had. Alas, it was not so.
The Bishop says to call my Parish Lay Discernment Committee together again so they might help me find my deeper roots in lay ministry.
I cried and now I’m just tired and wished I had written earlier so I don’t have to now, but I made my committment and I’m sticking to it.
It was harder this time than when he called the evening after they made their decision. I guess I really wanted to hear a change of heart. But, I must remind myself, that I really wanted my ex-husband to change his heart when he divorced me. And my life that I have now could not have existed had we stayed together.
The Bishop said to lick my wounds and read “The Long Loneliness” by Dorothy Day. What the Bishop says, I will do.
As you wish…