Decisions, Decisions

I’ve been telling my dear husband Bill (which is my sideways forum to hear myself think) that I don’t want to work full-time, that I only want a part-time job. There are many levels to this thought. I think that if I only work part-time then I will spend more time writing, and gardening, and then I could volunteer at the shelter and get to know and work with the residents in a more meaningful way. Whether this is true or not I really don’t know. I do know that I do not care for administrative work. I have no desire to “create a better volunteer program” or to “update the policies and procedures. I am doing a job for which I have no heart.

For a long time now I’ve tried to sell myself the idea that my job is my ministry and to a very limited extent that is true. I do minister to people via conversations and particularly offering, as Benedict of Nursia would say, an ear of the heart, but I spend much more time being miserable trying to do the work intended for me to do.

So, a year or so ago I applied to Lees-McRae College for a position, for which I never heard a reply and then Monday I sent off my resume to Appalachian State University for a part-time box office manager position. And they called to schedule an interview next week. Eeeek!

Now comes the time to put up or shut up. Well, maybe. I mean, they haven’t even interviewed me yet and they could say no thank you BUT suppose they offer me the position? Then what? Take a drastic cut in pay and benefits for a little piece of mind? How precious is the rest of my life and would I actually follow through with the writing thing? I would lose that grand excuse I’ve been using of not having time and being too tired, but knowing me I would fish around and find another one or two.

So for tonight, I’m going to pray and hopefully sleep and then over the weekend I will talk with Bill because not only does this involve him, he is a wonderfully wise man who will share his life thoughts with me.

So even though I’ve not written about the beach as promised earlier (I will, I will, gimme some time will ya?) I will write more about what comes out of this.


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